Another Day, Another Lesson

1/5/12 1640

Another valuable lesson learned today, or rather, experiencing something that reminded me of the fact that one day I will be left alone on my own, in that dark tiny box, buried deep 7 ft. under the ground. Today at 401 Medical Imaging, I had MRI Arthrogram done on my right shoulder. First off, I was told to remove all clothing that I have on me and was instructed to put on the patient garment. While wrapping that beige cotton cloth around my body, I was struck with a very strange feeling. The fact that there will come a day when the same thing will be repeated again, but when the time comes, I will not be the one that doing it but rather, there will be someone else that will wrap me layer by layer, while I will just be lying senseless, motionless, unable to do a single thing, making me realized the harsh reality of death.

Next, the doctor coated some part of my shoulder with alcohol in order to make my skin numb so that the next procedure can take place without me feeling any pain (or at least not as much). It was then followed by insertion of the syringe through the skin until it reaches right between the joints and the contrast solution was then being dispersed through the needle. The whole procedure was done in order to get more well-defined images from the Magnetic Resonance Imaging (MRI).

I was asked to lie on the bed that was then being propelled into the horizontal circular MRI scanner. With constricted space around me, I felt as if I’m in my own coffin, alone and helpless. The beat of my heart was getting faster, cold sweat started to roll down through my forehead, as if I’m anxiously waiting for the arrival of the two angels’ munkar and nakir that will interrogate me for every single deeds that I did in the past. I started to recall one by one of everything that I’ve done throughout my life, wondering whether they would be accounted as hasanat in front of the mighty being, or just misconducts that keep stacking one after another. And the sad truth was that, I realized that I’ve committed more sins than goods, abusing His nikmah, invoking His wrath.

While juggling with all these thoughts, I felt the silence had enveloped the space more than before. Pin drop silence, and it seems forever. Till suddenly, I heard a voice murmuring my name from afar, snapping me back into the reality and Alhamdulillah, I was allowed to live another day, with another lesson learned. Of all the knowledge that available throughout the entire universe, or anything that one do, there’s nothing that has any value in the eyes of the creator, except something that bring oneself closer to Him, in which I was bounded to be blessed with it today. For that oh Allah, this humble servant of yours expresses my highest gratitude towards You, the beneficent, the omnipotent, and they are no deity that worthy of being worship except You, the creator of all the creations, the king of all kings.